imaginary gardens with real toads in them
the study of literature is the study of life
caught inbetween
and there’s nothing you can do but watch it unfold
its many layers and shades of grey
2010 in one-liners
nuspa policy studies 2010
the best part of organising the debate series was my awesome subcomm, and it was an great (but tiring!) learning experience.
nus chinese orchestra
was alright on the whole i guess, and i’m grateful that i managed to make a few friends so i wasn’t all that lonely, but i’ve quit the orchestra to focus on other interests.
university life
has gotten better since i’m more used to how things work now and have gotten to know more people.
tutoring
i’m more than a little proud of being able to support myself financially really, even if i do complain about having to drag myself out to tutor sometimes.
coaching teejay debates
was a MAJOR part of my life in 2010, intensely stressful but very rewarding and a lot of fun, and i end my year of coaching with appreciation for my great co-coach chin and my amazing four batches of debaters 
year one semester one
was a bad, bad time when I fell below the international poverty line for a while, but what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger!
on majoring in literature
one and a half academic years later, i’m glad to say that taking literature over law was the right choice and i actually really like what i’m studying.
year two semester two
was a rather peaceful one because i dropped many cca commitments and devoted myself almost entirely to studying and tuition, and the former really paid off grades-wise but i’m ready to do more things now.
wanderlust
loads of my friends have gone overseas (mostly to london) to study and others are applying/have applied for student exchange programmes and i really want to see the world too. 
erhu
continues to be part of my life after over a decade and while i got a little unmotivated for a while i think i’m back on track again.
2010 was a year full of different experiences and i think i grew a lot this year. hope 2011 will be even better 
shoutout from the bottom of the heap: get your act together!
had a good weekend after exams ended on thursday. went to watch harrypotter7 part one with my family at long last on friday, and the movie was awesome and the popcorn good, so i had a great night. slacked around at home after psychometric test on saturday, and went shopping at vivocity with my sister this afternoon ^^ and my sister got me hooked on the glee series so i’m finally watching a television programme series properly for the first time in goodness knows how many months.
nearly done with exams!
crazy week is over!
i believe i can do whatever i set my mind to.
busyweek
erhu grade nine exam today! my dad was awesome and drove me to nafa so i didn’t have to travel in the hot sun (on a sidenote, weather is either dreadfully hot or pouring with really heavy rain these few days. extreme much?). the exam actually went quite poorly with me setting my new personal record for number of slips and fumbles, but i’m just terribly glad the whole thing’s done and over with so i can focus on my final exams. had a good dinner at pastastylo with rachel afterwards at city square mall, met vanessa, and walked around a bit with them. (:
european literature finals the day after tomorrow. and women novelists paper on friday. jialat lah, very unprepared lol. am totally exhausted right now so i’ll start work again tomorrow. full speed ahead to make up for lost time (: not watching berlin philharmonic rehearsal tomorrow because i’ve so much to catch up on. really wanted to go, but i know i’d be going without an easy mind ready to enjoy myself, since i’ve this huge bundle of work looming over me. but it did take infinite self-discipline to choose to stay home and mug, haha. hope the choice’s worth it!
two weeks more!
fortnight of muggery
en3262 essay
en3261 essay
en3228 essay
en3234 essay
en3262 presentation
en3228 presentation
cyberarts interactive website
all due in the coming fortnight!
really really overwhelmed by the work but i believe i can rise above it all and will not allow myself to get all hot and bothered over something that every other undergrad faces.
things seem much greater and more overwhelming when you overanalyse them. will not think so much about what lies ahead but will instead do whatever has to be done and enjoy the process as much as possible.
empty vessels make the most noise
because they’re scared you won’t notice they’re there.
talk is cheap
why must you keep second-guessing yourself?
bits and pieces
we used this for a video project for our cyberarts class (:
doing freelance essays now. it seems so easy to churn up essays when the topic and requirements are all set. but i want to write something substantial that is all mine and i’ve tried several times and i can never get anything going. why! ):
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just read petals of blood by ngugi wa thiong-o and ben okri’s flowers and shadows over the past few days, since i’m looking for material for my postmodern/postcolonial independent project. very good and awfully beautiful works, but also a little painful to read. not unlike most of the books i’ve had to read this semester really. all rather depressing literary works which make me feel that the human condition is really kind of futile at times. especially the most recent works. interestingly, i wrote something about that futility over a year ago for my usp admission essay. but at that time it sounded like kind of a cool concept, and now it’s just really really sad to think about.
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had a very slow day today at home. no commitments or work at all, and even though i had to clear some of my required reading for school, i still felt very relaxed and free of stress (well, mostly anyway). i like how cutting down on my commitments has made me much free-er for other important things, like friends and family.
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my week in short: monday i studied and ran with rachel, tuesday i mugged in school (and promptly dozed off) and had nusco evening practice, wednesday i had debates and sun huang concert (=D), thursday was a horribly long day at school, and friday i had an awesome dinner with nad and eve, both of whom i miss so much and was so glad to meet! saturday was tutoring and nusco again. and of course, my wonderful free sunday, full of awesome emptiness and freedom!
week eleven of school starts today-school ends in a bit more!
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despite what i said before about not forcing myself to find a non-existent or overly contrived sense of belonging to an institution, i’m beginning to attempt it again. when will i learn? the minute i started i began to feel regret at filling up my schedule with a commitment appears so lacking in meaningful interaction and learning . then i wonder if i should leave, but then i feel like i haven’t given it a proper chance and really tried to enjoy myself. But is it me, or the institution at fault? i’m putting it down in black and white here - i’ll give it a shot till the end of the year, after which i will not foolishly wallow in self-pity and unhappiness.
—
i am trying to be more patient in some things. in my dealings with people (unless you’re being an annoying idiot, in which case i’m justified). in my various pursuits, in my studies and tutoring and music. a lot more difficult than i thought. the anger just rises up and even when you swallow it, it boils within you till you either conquer it or simply forget.
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i think you’re a success and i want to make you smile (:
